Sunday, December 18, 2011

The end of the road

Recently, I've gotten a sad news from my dad. Well to me, it's sad. But to others, hmm it's a different story. If you've read my blog and keep updated with my life, you'd know exactly what I'm trying to say here. It's all about the fast track Upm thingy where I get to further my studies way faster than the others, which the registration date falls on this 30th of December. Yes, it is in my hands now. I got the offer. My dad straight away called me from Bangi just to inform me that news. That isn't the news I wanted to hear from him ! It hurts to open your eyes to the bright light in the morning, especially after a good dream I had, just to hear this what I call theendtomylife news. To be honest, I am fucking sad whenever they mention this matter in front of me, trying to persuade me to take this offer. I feel like I'm being shot right through my head and I am really starting to lose hope. Dangg. You might be actually thinking that this girl is out of her mind. Indeed I am. I cant seem to think straight. I'm dead. OH NO, I'm half dead.
All I wanted to hear from my loved ones is that No sab, you shouldn't go. You'll be leaving us so soon. THAT'S ALL. But the only person who said that to me is Ammar. Haha guess he knows me too well. While others, some encourage me to take the offer and some ask me to rethink about it. Alright, maybe it's for my own good, But.. hmm. Clueless.

I'm sorry mum, I don't think I'll take this offer. I have something else on my mind for my future. I want to pursue my dream, the only dream I have right now. And how I wish I could make this dream comes alive. And clearly, this dream of mine has nothing to do with this fast track stuff. This news somehow really breaks my heart. It wasn't me who's so eager to submit the application. Blame the teacher. Not being ungrateful, but yeah my decision is final. I see there are way more cons than pros. So all I have to do now is to find the right words to explain this to my mum. While my dad, he leaves it all to me :) He said, the decision is in my hand. So okayh you can burn the offer letter now xx